June 2012
1 tag
Jun 29th
26,537 notes
1 tag
Jun 26th
116,144 notes
3 tags
Jun 26th
9,416 notes
1 tag
Jun 26th
25 notes
Jun 26th
170,591 notes
1 tag
Jun 25th
74 notes
1 tag
plot twist: animals watch documentaries of us
Jun 25th
1,835 notes
1 tag
Jun 24th
636 notes
1 tag
Jun 24th
188 notes
1 tag
Jun 23rd
14,202 notes
1 tag
Jun 23rd
41,005 notes
7 tags
Mieka: So we were looking through the manual and the only sections with illnesses I haven't had are the ones about boy parts, old age, and pregnancy.
Me: See, I have only had illnesses in those three chapters.
Serena: So you're dying and pregnant and male?
Me: Damn it, I'm a dead, pregnant Stuart.
Mieka: Shit. You fucked up.
Jun 23rd
2 notes
3 tags
Jun 23rd
1 tag
Jun 23rd
3,909 notes
1 tag
Jun 23rd
125 notes
3 tags
hey Always, don’t tell me what to do. Maybe I don’t want to have a happy period. Maybe I just don’t understand how GUSHING BLOOD FROM MY GENITALS CAN EVER BE HAPPY.
Jun 23rd
3 notes
1 tag
Jun 23rd
8,838 notes
1 tag
Jun 23rd
268 notes
1 tag
Jun 21st
1 note
1 tag
Jun 20th
680 notes
there’s no logical reason for shorts to be the same price as pants
Jun 20th
214,177 notes
2 tags
Things men should not say #19: Well, being with you is better than being alone… Note: No malicious or sleazy intent was involved; it was pure idiocy and/or a severe inability to use the English language that resulted in these situations.
Jun 19th
1 note
2 tags
Things not to say to men #29: If you don’t stop speaking, I will put you in a box and deport you. Note: This is applicable when everyone is sober and decent, and no one is sleazy.
Jun 19th
1 note
2 tags
Jun 19th
73 notes
Jun 19th
74,591 notes
2 tags
Jun 19th
358 notes
2 tags
Jun 19th
1,163 notes
3 tags
Jun 19th
473 notes
1 tag
Jun 19th
1,435 notes
3 tags
Jun 19th
17 notes
1 tag
Jun 19th
95 notes
1 tag
Jun 19th
47,420 notes
1 tag
Jun 19th
1,627 notes
1 tag
Jun 19th
961 notes
2 tags
Jun 19th
75,863 notes
3 tags
cosmo tip #272
expertcosmotips: unzip his pants like you’re gonna give him head and then just burp on his penis and leave This is exactly how I do it! Good to know I’m pleasing men correctly.
Jun 19th
7,669 notes
4 tags
Jun 19th
2 tags
Jun 19th
37,086 notes
2 tags
Jun 19th
78,295 notes
1 tag
Jun 18th
41,468 notes
3 tags
Reasons why I hate sharing a bed
specifically with Dave: my bed space, not yours space issues don’t like sharing a blanket don’t enjoy waking up with your elbow in my face or your arm heaving over my neck, I literally can’t breathe when that happens you take up like 85% of the bed you snore your alarms are the most annoying. Seriously why on earth would you need alarms from 5am to 7:20am, and why would...
Jun 18th
2 notes
1 tag
Jun 18th
17,588 notes
5 tags
Sunday evening closing adventures
Me: *mumbling angrily at pants*
Me: YOU DON'T BELONG HERE.
Brandon: Umm, Fateema? You talking to yourself?
Me: No, that's ridiculous. I'm talking to the pants.
Brandon: Of course. My mistake, I apologize.
Brandon: Wait what?
Me: DO YOU EVEN GO HERE?
Jun 18th
1 note
1 tag
Jun 18th
529 notes
1 tag
Jun 18th
1,554 notes
2 tags
Jun 18th
5,113 notes
1 tag
Jun 18th
8,139 notes
1 tag
Jun 18th
181 notes
2 tags
Jun 18th
1,221 notes
2 tags
Jun 18th
685 notes